Today is Wednesday, February 14th, 2018. I had a harp lesson, like I always do on Wednesdays. I wasn’t exactly prepared. I usually am, but hell, who can be on top of their game every single week? The following is a list of excuses, many of them lame, as to why I had two less solid practice sessions this week than I usually do.
Between Mahler 6 rehearsals and the concert on Sunday, it was a weekend full of playing, not necessarily practicing. (Playing Mahler 6 was AMAZING, by the way!) To be fair, I did spent all day Saturday hanging out, and frankly having an amazing time, with a couple of my friends, and attending a concert in the evening. I didn’t practice a lick that day. I spent a decent about of time laughing and discussing the philosophies of the world with one of my best friends in the evenings, rather than squeeze in a couple extra hours of practicing. I spent a fair amount of time reading, as I always do, plus I had my usual homework and an exam in one of my classes that I had to study for. I don’t regret any of that.
I’ve finally reached the point in my life where I realize that I can have music (among other things) be one of the top things in my life, without being the only thing and the top priority 100% of the time. Life is all about balance, and it’s pretty sad that it took a few moderate to major events in my life last year to come to that realization. That being said, I do like to think of myself as being on top of things. I don’t miss class and 7am is still considered sleeping in. I’m not falling into financial ruin, and I like to think of myself as a responsible person. However, I do let myself skip a day of practicing here and there if I need a mental break, and honestly I’ve made it a priority to just chill and watch The Office (It is winter, after all). I prepare my ensemble pieces, but I don’t lose sleep over them anymore. I do some fun, unique things in music (my trio was just awarded some prize money we’re going to use to record an album this summer!), but I’m also getting pretty good at saying “no” to extraneous commitments. I’m loosening up, letting myself stay up a bit late, and getting that late afternoon coffee when I feel the urge.
Today’s dissertation was inspired by my sub-par lesson, and I gotta admit it was nice to flush it all out. I could try to blame my pseudo-psycobabble on all the hippie books I’ve read over the years, or all the John Denver music I listen to, but I also like to think I’ve struck something that’s alright.